Brolly

I’ve been out and about in town today, and I don’t know about you but something about the rain brings out the poet in me. So Today’s tale for #SLANT is some verse, a villanelle to be precise. I never said the stories had to be in prose.

Villanelles are tricky. They are 19 lines long, with the first and third lines repeated alternately at the end of each three line stanza, and both lines repeated in the last quatrain. But that really isn’t the tricky bit. You only get to play with two rhymes. So it pays to choose some good rhyming words.

The first line that came to me was “Please, take better control of your brolly!” I’d just been attacked by a weaponised umbrella for the third time and was feeling rather chagrined. In fact, I was feeling like punching the next person who came at me with an oversized accessory. Instead I sublimated my anger into an intriguing art form.

But “brolly” is not good for the purpose of rhyme. Which goes to explain the weak first line… if you can think of a punchy obscenity that rhymes with “brolly” please let me know.

But anyhow, here it is… took me all of twenty minutes. Culture doesn’t have to be time consuming.

Brolly

I don’t like to curse, but gosh and golly
You damn nearly poked out both my eyes!
Please, take better control of your brolly.

Yes, the weather’s wet and melancholy
And you’re wearing a suit, I sympathise.
I don’t like to curse, but gosh and golly

Look where you’re going you arrogant wally,
Why do you need an umbrella that size?
Please, take better control of your brolly.

At least be civil, admit your folly
I’m not asking you to apologise.
I don’t like to curse, but gosh and golly

Splash me with that again like a volley
And it’ll be rammed up your bum, edgewise!
Please, take better control of your brolly.

I’m just about to go off my trolley
I feel I could actually terrorise!
I don’t like to curse, but gosh and golly
Please, take better control of your brolly!