A bit of a rant about gig etiquette.

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A guest post from Richard Higgins who recommends you all shut the hell up and listen, else . . . else . . . erm, else he’s gonna come over there and teach you a lesson!

GIG ETIQUETTE (OR AN IMPASSIONED RANT IN E MINOR)

I’ve noticed a worrying trend in gigs of late. At first I thought it was just me getting increasingly curmudgeonly and tetchy whilst seeing bands – y’know, the queue for the bar, bad sound, overpriced tickets, rubbish toilets, those irritating niggles that can ruin a good nights entertainment.

But I’ve discussed it with others and these little quibbles are small fry when it comes to the main bug bear.

And I am not alone in this.

It’s people who yap incessantly at a gig and who are oblivious to those around them.

Now before this turns into a ‘Grumpy Old Man’ style tirade, let me say for the oustset I’ve nothing against people talking at gigs per se. You go see Motorhead and you can scream your head off, I doubt if Lemmy is going to care or hear you and frankly neither will I. But there’s a time and a place – usually inbetween songs or away at the bar or in the toilets. I’m not advocating a monastical vow of silence – impossible to enforce for a start, although I would dearly love to see repeat offenders shown the door, taken outside and shot (apologies to Jeremy Clarkson; apologies to anyone else for bringing up Jeremy Clarkson). However, a tad self regulation wouldn’t go amiss.

At certain gigs it’s fine – well bearable if you’re drowned out by 100 plus decibels anyway. But what is galling are gigs where the performance is predominantly accoustic or unplugged with a solo singer strumming away in vain over an appreciative crowd ruined by one or two idiots who have no volume control and no respect or regard for those around them.

I saw Jesca Hoop at the Cockpit, a fantastically talented singer songwriter, composer of great songs. Prior to her, a fairly good but unknown (to me) support band played – they shall remain nameless as (1) I can’t remember their name and (2) even I could, I wouldn’t want to give them any publicity. They were good but what followed soon turned me against them. After they had finished playing the ukele player from said band then proceeded to talk incessantly, very loudly, all the way through Jesca Hoop’s set, with his back to the stage, totally oblivious to his surroundings. Now if the crowd had shown the same level of disinterest and rudeness to his performance, how would he have felt? Poor Jesca had to struggle through the gig, trying to be heard over this baying, ignorant halfwit who only ten minutes before was on stage himself performing, albeit in a 6 piece band. And the Jesca Hoop gig is just one example.

I’ve tried dishing out the Paddington Bear hard stare, I’ve tried tutting loudly but that just sounds like I’m clearing my throat. I’ve politely asked people to refrain from talking but all that’s resulted in is an esculation of the problem;

‘Are you saying I can’t talk at a gig?? Do you want to make something of it?!’

No I’m just advocating you pipe down and stop ruining it for others.I’ve paid good money to hear a band – not hear you witter incessantly over the top of it.

I don’t know what the solution is – a lesson in gig etiquette is needed. It must be demoralising for the performers and it certainly pisses off me and other people. All I can say is that if this subject was a playlist it would comprise of:

HUSH – DEEP PURPLE
NOISE ANNOYS – BUZZCOCKS
SHUT UP – MADNESS
SILENCE IS GOLDEN – THE TREMELOES

Available of course on Mute Records…

12 comments

  1. I went to see Death Cab For Cutie at Rock City who have a number of slower, quieter, sensitive tunes.

    Sadly directly in front of us were a group of American students who insisted on talking loudly throughout the first 40 minutes. One guy in particular was just trying to pull and – even more irritatingly -was having no luck as he was clearly a tedious pillock.

    I tried tutting and even asked them politely to pipe down. No joy.

    So eventually I got right behind them and literally roared ‘SHUT THE FUCK UP’. Extreme I grant you, but it worked. The rest of the gig passed in(uneasy)peace.

    The big question is why pay good money to see a band and then talk all the way through it.

    Richard, please name the band so I can boycott them!

  2. I’m a singer at gigs. Big, barrel chested singer; full of voice and heart.

    I admit I get caught up in the emotion of it all – the theatre of it all – and quite often get lost in my own world. It’s only when the night ends, my voice goes – that I realise there must have been people near me, that only really heard me.

    If you are one of those such people, then I do – truly apologise. It can’t be helped.

    Re the point of the post – I saw Beth Orton at the Shepherds Bush Empire around the time she released Trailer Park. She was supported by Ben Folds Five. All the way through both sets a mixed group of men and women were stood at the bar just talking, backs to the stage – acting as if they were at a dinner party with a CD on in the background. I was stood next to a reviewer who was getting more and more frustrated. Sad fact is that neither of us wanted to move from that spot, as it made access to booze harder if we did. He ended up shouting at them, just as a song ended.

    Unfortunately they kept talking as Orton played a track I knew the words to. Poor fella. He didn’t know where to look.

  3. Chris, it can be helped…oddly I don’t pay to listen to you.

    Although if you are a bloke I am intrigued to hear your version of Beth’s hits.

    As Richard points out sing along to Motorhead but not Beth…it’s rude to people who have paid good money to hear their heroes.

    The alternative is to get in a band and then people can pay to listen to you if you have a decent voice.

  4. I wish people would keep their phones in their pockets. No texting, filming ot chatting. Filming annoys me the most. I have no idea why some people go to gigs.

  5. First one ok.

    Second one not. Who decides what is appropriate…you??

    If you want to singalong stay at home with a hairbrush and warble along to a CD.

    1. “Who decides what is appropriate…you??”

      In reality yes, as if I am the selfish type then I will. But that’s not to say I would sing at every concert. I might sing the next time I take my little girl to see Mr Tumble, but only if he tells us all to sing with him. Quite liberating signing nursery rhymes out loud, in your mid30s.

      I doubt I would sing along should I ever go and see Kraftwerk play live again. That would be a bit weird. Even the talking parts.

      But then let’s take a moment to consider the poor sod stood next to you at the MONSTERS OF ROCK (shouted, through text) – who doesn’t want to hear you sing, even though you think that’s OK.

  6. Ooh, I seem to have stirred a hornets’ nest/opened up a can of worms here!(opened a can of hornets?)

    I like gigs.
    I like good conversation too.But which one’s best? FIGHT!!

    Look, there’s no hard and set rules to this, I think it’s just a case of self awareness,common sense and good manners. But when that doesn’t work, I’m actually advocating that transgressors be named, shamed, fined, forced to apologise on stage,frogmarched out and, er…shot.Repeatedly.Until they see the error of their ways.

    I can turn the argument on it’s head and say a gig where no one spoke would be pretty damned spooky.Like a seance or something.And it would probably freak out the performer too.
    But what I can’t understand is why pay good money to see a gig and then totally ignore the singer/band and seriously annoy others around you in the process.I mean who would go up to a stranger in a pub, give them £15 and spend the rest of the night eavesdropping the conversation??

  7. I prefer singing along to The Wiggles and it is appropriate – if not mandatory – to singalong at kids’ concerts.

    MONSTERS OF ROCK – singing ok unless it is a power ballad when you switch to a lighter in the air. RAWK.

    Richard, I think shooting is a little extreme although I have felt like maiming people at gigs from time to time.

    Performers don’t mind a bit of feedback but not just during songs..the gap between songs is for talking or interacting with the band.

    I went to see the Staves (highly recommended) at the Trades in Hebden Bridge last night. They are an acoustic act and everyone was resectful of band and other punters keeping the chatter to a minimum. I think if Chris has been bellowing along like a wounded warthog then he would have been thrown into the nearby canal..and rightly so.

  8. People who talk loudly through a performance are as rude as people who talk in the cinema. It’s just a matter of manners, something that sadly many people seem to lack. For a member of the support band to braw through the headliners set is unbelievably rude; I would have told him to stick his flipping ukelele where the sun doesn’t shine.

  9. You’ve got to stand up to these halfwits and tell them what’s what. It feels weird explaining the bleeding obvious to a grown adult, but if they’ve proved that they do, indeed, need telling then hopefully one of your fellow audience members will have your back when they inevitably become aggressive. Then you can send the dickhead off to the bar with his tail between his legs and high-five each other!

    Someone from the support band though? That is another level!

  10. So there’s more of us than there are of them ?I suggest a mass outbreak of coordinated ‘shhhhhhussing’ next time some selfish idjeet ruins a gig-who’s with me?

    I did try tackling the matter head once but my assertiveness manifested itself as outright aggression and a heated debate ensued for about ten minutes by which time I was as guilty as the guy I was trying to get to pipe down.At a Corinne Bailey Rae gig too, who would have guessed it would kick off there?!
    Thanks for all the comments, nice to know I’m not alone!

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