Review of a book signing (Moranthology)

All, Comedy

Jo the Writer as we call her here at CV Towers joined half the ladies of Leeds at Waterstones Wednesday 19th September to pay homage to the lady of our time, Caitlin Moran.

 
I’m flicking through various hardback covers of Caitlin Moran’s new book Moranthology (a collection of her columns from The Times) which have been “SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR” as it boasts on the front cover.

My friend asks me what I’m doing. “I’m looking for one with a good signature and a big kiss.” I announce, comparing two signed copies – one with a bigger C for ‘Caitlin’ but with a wonky ‘X’ that looks like a squiggle, and another with a smaller C but a bigger kiss . I take the latter up to the till.

On the way back, we’re offered drinks, and after a mini should we/shouldn’t we about the free wine (my friend is driving, and wine gives me loud hiccups) we opt for fruit juice instead and take one of the few remaining seats towards the back.

Ten minutes later, Caitlin Moran appears, and the room breaks into applause (and the occasional ‘whoop!’) it’s very exciting. Then she sits down and disappears out of sight for the next hour. Ordinarily, when someone is doing a talk to a room full of people, I believe it’s customary to elevate them in some way – you know so that everyone can see them?

Instead, Waterstones, seated Caitlin Moran in a chair that was actually much lower than those the audience were sitting on. I realise that putting together some huge stage wouldn’t be possible, but I think that if you’re a book shop that regularly hosts evenings such as this one, with an author and a large audience, it might be a good idea to cobble together a makeshift platform, or maybe invest some tall chairs, or something. That way, everyone who has paid for a ticket can see the author rather than simply listening to them as though they’re on the radio and instead of being in the same room as you.
Anyway, apart from being grumpy about not being able to see a damn thing, Caitlin speaks for about an hour, lapsing into one hilarious, whopping digression after another (eventually getting around to telling us about the time she met David Cameron).

What I especially love about Caitlin Moran is that she talks in a similar way to how she writes. Anyone who has ever read her columns or the bestselling How to be a Woman will know her witty and irreverent style and fondness for hyperbole. But what I really love is that she still makes a very important, and often thought provoking, point. Over the next hour she covers everything from The Times pay-wall, to her fourteen hour interview with Courtney Love, to Carrie Fisher’s headgear to quizzing Billy Corgan: “Are you really that good in bed?” and ending with, of course, the tale about the time she met David Cameron.

At the end, Caitlin Moran stands up, and I realise that I’d momentarily forgotten she was even in the room. Then herds of people form an orderly queue to get their books signed. After a bit of debate about whether we should queue to get our already signed copies signed again, we join the now very long queue, which gives me ample time to puzzle over what exactly I’m going to say when I meet Caitlin Moran. I have verbal diarrhoea at the best of times, and sitting at home, alone, pyjama-clad at a desk all day has taken a serious toll on my already shambolic social skills. I believe our conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello, please can you sign my book that you’ve already signed, but… put my name in it

Caitlin Moran: Of course! What name is it?

Me: It’s Jo. Just J O. I know that sounds stupid, but you’d be surprised how many people put an ‘E’ on the end.

Caitlin Moran: Really?

Me: Perhaps I just look really manly or something…

Caitlin Moran: [laughs politely whilst handing book back]

Me: Could I… possibly give you a hug?

Caitlin Moran: Of course! [We hug. And yes, it was amazing].

Me: THANK YOU! [Grins manically]

Caitlin Moran: Thanks for coming, darling!

And then I skipped all the way home, because I was rocking one hell of an adrenaline high, and when I got home I bragged about my Moran-hug (or being M(or)an-handled, as my friend put it) on Facebook, because it’s the single most exciting thing that has happened to me all year – even better than last week when someone gave me a free dishwasher.
Overall, the poor setup of the evening was a real disappointment. Even though Caitlin Moran is very entertaining to listen to, essentially, I had still gone there to see her and not the backs of other people’s heads. I’m not feeling too pouty about it though – a M(or)an-handling more than makes up for it.

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