Let’s face it, this won’t be the best night ever in the whole world, one that you’ll brag about to all your mates who will all lie about being there when the history books are written.
You will be lucky if you remember it beyond Tuesday.
And we aren’t going to promise to deregulate all your senses and turn your whole cognitive scheme upside down, inside out, and round and round . . . let’s leave all those empty promises to Regularly Funded Organisations.
It’s just a bit of fun.
On New Year’s Eve. A bit of a party.
We know you’re skint so it’s cheap and cheerful.
There’s plentiful booze at reasonable prices. Hell of a lot cheaper than the pubs.
There’s a band, The Temple Priests, led by our very own Ivor Tymchak . . . though he may deny all responsibility for leadership!
There will be at least one person being amusing in a performance kind of capacity . . . whether that person will be Hayden Cohen I’d really rather not say.
And there will be food . . . if you can call lentil dhal food! provided by the shirt-tastic Mr Peshwari (Harvi to you and me.) So you won’t even have to cook before you go out and get blasted, you lazy buggers. Three quid for dinner, can’t say fairer than that!
And if you get bored we may even play some silly games . . . but I’m leaving all that bollocks to Mr Hackenbush.
At the end of the night our local taxi firm will take you wherever you wish to be for normal fare plus a quid . . . how decent is that!
So, tomorrow night (obviously) if you’re doing nowt special and you fancy not being a sad bastard, why not drop down to Temple Works. It’s only a fiver, so even if it’s not that great we aren’t exactly ripping you off . . .
and it’ll be fun, honest.
best of all there’s a man playing a saw . . . if you’ve never heard a musical saw you are in for a treat, it’s flipping amazing! ok, theremin player pulled out last minute (theremin players! the flighty bastards!) but this guy is genuinely fabulous, worth the price of admission alone . . .
Temple Works, from seven o clock . . . you know where we are, just google it . . . you are bloody grown ups!