Photo: Number 2 (Derren Nesbitt) books his holiday to the high Alps…
To count down to our special screening of Fall Out, the final episode of ace television show The Prisoner, PHIL KIRBY introduces a new episode every day in the order outlined by director Alex Cox in his book I Am (Not) A Number…
Tonight’s episode is It’s Your Funeral …
She was only the watchmaker’s daughter. Or, if you prefer, Marty’s wife Jeannie, from Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased). As Number 50 though, she attempts to enlist Number 6’s help in thwarting an assassination attempt on Number 2, something you would imagine Number 6 would be only to happy went ahead unthwarted…
We all have off days. It’s Your Funeral is definitely the product of one bad day.
It reads like an undergraduate essay handed in at the last moment to the wrong department by someone who’s not read the assignment and taken too much Pro-Plus. Even watching it gives me the caffeine jitters.
This is definitely D Minus material.
Previously Number Six has threatened to “escape, come back, wipe this place of the face of the earth, obliterate it, and you with it.” Which doesn’t seem particularly concerned about the welfare of Number Two. Or overly bothered by the fate of the innocent Villagers who will inevitably be the victim of collateral damage. In this episode he positively falls over himself to protect the Number Two (he actually engineers his escape!) to preserve peace, love and harmony in the Village.
I want the old Number Six back.
He even buys a bag of sweets for an old lady who’s having a bit of a tizzy when a shopkeeper says she can’t afford even a cola bottle. The old Number Six would have shown that ungentlemanly grocer a good what for! The granny would have gone home with her pockets stuffed with enough gum drops to satisfy the cravings of half The Village old folks home for a whole week.
And then there’s Kosho. Number Six enjoys a bit of Kosho. Kosho’s big in The Village. Number Six is Kosho king.
What’s Kosho, you ask?
It’s over three bloody minutes!
Three of the most pointless, daft, excruciating minutes you’ll ever spend in front of the tube. It’s like something out of The Goodies if Bill Oddy was having the afternoon off. Or a Benny Hill chase sketch if Benny Hill did homoeroticism.
I can’t watch it. It makes me thankful technology has advanced. This is what fast forwarding was invented for. Pity the poor buggers who had to sit through every gruelling second of this gormless contest back in 1967. No wonder there was trouble in the streets brewing back then. I’d be ripping up the pavements and lobbing stones at the cops if this was all there was on the telly.
And, if you thought it couldn’t get any worse, there’s the denouement. This hangs on a remote controlled bomb in an improbably Brobdingnagian bit of bling made by a politically motivated watchmaker. The bling doesn’t even go boom!
Trust me, by this point you’ll want to throw yourself at Number Two, snatch the medallion, scream that you’ll take them all with you, and stamp on the sodding thing. Anything to make it stop.
Don’t worry, it’ll soon be over. Number Six has saved the day and enjoyed some time in The Village without mental torture, physical torment, or experimental psychedelics.
My guess is that’s the problem.
The episode Lacks Serious Drugs.
Derren Nesbitt, an actor blessed with a face destined to play a thousand Gestapo officers, is a great Number Two though. Probably the only redeeming feature in this episode. After watching his performance you may find yourself having an uncontrollable urge to book an appointment at Specsavers.
But don’t let that put you off watching. We are halfway through the series.
And here’s the moment of anomalous humour… art critic!
Read about previous episode Schizoid Man here
theCV presents The Prisoner Fall Out plus a Q and A with Six of One’s Ant Brierly and Roy Stambrow moderated by Phil and Neil (God help us!) at The Courtroom, Leeds Town Hall at 19.00 on Friday 25th May 2018. Tickets are £5 (plus booking fee) and are available here.
