In a Culture Vulture first, Emma Bearman’s husband Frank, considered by some to be a hologram, was provoked into writing for us. It only took 4 years to find THE thing he felt passionate about…
OK, I admit it. Those internet vintners have me hooked. I am of course referring to Naked Wines, the web based wine company that deliver really good wines to your door so you don’t feel embarrassed clanking your way out of Bargain Booze any more.
Now I am not a real connoisseur of such stuff, never learned to slurp it in that aspirational, experty way, but I can tell that the difference between OK and excellent. And this is what you get from said company. I won’t get all florid about all that oaky, floral nonsense in these pages but you get really good, distinctive boutique wine for the same price you would pay for generic plonk in Tesco.
But that doesn’t even begin to describe what’s clever about these people.
The real genius lies in the fact that when you part with your hard-earned, you are in fact “investing” in talented, independent practitioners of an ancient yet sciencey craft who otherwise would go hungry, or something. Yes, whilst feeling the glow of their excellent wares you are in that guilt-free consumer sweet-spot of helping attractive, exotic, craggy-faced foreigners. Purely by drinking.
You are in fact an all-powerful Angel (that’s not made up) who, again purely by drinking, can make a struggling entrepreneur realise his dream and throw off the yoke of…[sorry getting carried away here]. But who could argue with that? Almost in a Dragon’s Den kind of way, you can say “Rioja? I’m in for 6.50 but I want 100%”. It’s genius.
All this has made Naked Wines one of the fastest growing businesses in the world, ever. I just made that up. Maybe it was the UK. Anyway, it’s pretty fast. And I’m not surprised. They deserve it.
But they are coming to Leeds on Sunday 30th June, 2-4pm at Aspire on Infirmary Street, as part of their national tour. And tickets have already sold out. Which is a mighty shame. Next year they’ll need to book the Arena we suspect!
However because The Culture Vulture is a long term fan of Naked Wines they’ve offered 2 tickets and a box of wine for one lucky winner. Please only enter if you can make the dates!
So the question is ‘If you were wine, how would you describe yourself on the label?’ You’ve got a week to tell us in the comments box below before we draw the winner based on the answer we like the best!
*Naked Wine facts
What we’re all about
Naked Wines, the UK’s fastest growing online wine retailer, was born in December 2008 when twelve friends jacked in their jobs during the depth of the recession to do things a little differently.
Our goal: Find the world’s most talented, undiscovered winemakers and set them up in business.
How we go about it:
- 120,000 customers invest over £2m a month towards future orders (we call them ‘Angels’)
- Which we use to fund independent winemakers
- In return for exclusive wines at wholesale prices
- Which we pass back to our customers
We call it the ‘virtuous circle’, as everybody gets more for less, without trampling on anyone along the way.
The hard and fast facts
If you’re looking for something a little meatier, this should help:
- We’ve invested in over 100 independent winemakers to date, from 13 countries world-wide
- We ship an average of 20,000 bottles of wine every day
- We achieved 57% growth in sales year-on-year, with pre-tax profits of just under £1million.
- We’ve recruited 250k customers,120k of which invest over £2m a month towards future orders
- We were named the UK’s most innovative wine company for two years on the trot, at the IWC
- We were named the UK’s Online Business of the Year at the 2011 National Business Awards
- We’re one of the Best Small Companies to work for in the Sunday Times Top 100
- We’re probably the world’s largest group of net wine investors
- And last year, we launched two new retail platforms in the USA and Australia, as well as a new winery in California, offering independent winemakers custom crush for $100 / £65 a ton
A truly social business
As well as the model itself, the website delivers a truly social experience.
- Customers can chat directly to one another and to the winemakers.
- Customers can vote with their feet on new initiatives and wines, to decide what makes the cut.
- And we tell customers what to buy AND what not to buy, based on their preferences.
The team
The man at the top is Rowan Gormley, former Virgin Wines and Virgin Money CEO, our COO is Irishman Eamon Fitzgerald, formerly of Accenture and Decanter, and our non-executive director who keeps us in check is Ian West, former BSkyB MD. The rest of us are an assorted bunch of 60 wine and tech-loving employees based in Norwich.
Solid, dry, complex. A challenging first mouthful which rewards consideration, revealing lighter, fruited notes, with a ground-bass of spice and earth. Lingering, thought-provoking finish. An acquired taste.
I really enjoyed reading this, it made me chuckle. & I didn’t know about Naked Wines. I particularly like the idea that my drinking will benefit craggy-faced individuals other than myself.
Should be drunk more often.
Alright then, although I can’t win here’s what I’d put on MY label if I was wine
This cheeky number is a buttery mouthful. What it lacks in subtlety it makes up for sunny temperament. Don’t be taken in by the seemingly bland aroma, this wine has a tendency to charm you and leave you with a stonking hangover.
Best served chilled and with a mountain of cheese
Light, refreshing and full of bubbles. Careful though, too much of this good thing can cause a headache!
Somehow balancing the frivolity of a £3 Tetra Pak rosé with the affectation of a vintage Margaux, this welterweight pummels with a bold bouquet of coffee, burnt toast and sunburn cream. A flash of flowery, fruity notes quickly makes way for a perceived dryness and, strangely, more coffee flavours.
Best served hastily in a ceramic mug. A perfect accompaniment to future regrets.
Product of Ireland, Fermented in Yorkshire, Often served in Leeds, Alcoholic
Have used Naked in years past and they were very good.
How would I describe myself…
A loud, boisterous number, a little thin on the body but punching above its weight. Sometimes a little strong on the nose.
This wine was grown in the foothills of Neasden, London, by an independent partnership that chose to increase their independence shortly after this was harvested. This 1975 vintage yielded such poor results that it proved to be the last crop produced by this vineyard.
Dark, sometimes grey, puce, red and black round the edges in colour, this wine shows absolutely no clarity when put to the light or posed a simple question. It has an unpleasant aroma with an obnoxious after taste. It is full bodied, dry, oh so dry; with a jolt of acidic humour and a melancholic outlook when swirled from its slumber. This wine compliments very little. It is therefore a surprise not to find it left behind on the shelf. Unlikely to open up if left out on the side of a party.
Contains preservatives, leaks sulphur and is best avoided if vegetarian. Alcohol content high, growing yet higher the closer we get to the end of this label. Try matching with a similar vintage for an explosive party. It is suitable for cooking or haphazard project planning. Bottle number 1 of 1 produced.
A remarkable old world grape with a sophisticated new world finish – robust, complex flavours, refreshing and youthful. The texture soothes your palate and the overall effect is the heady thrill of a light sparkler without the unnecessary bloating agents. Simply terrific, refined and delightful – a true ’77 Hungarian vintage.
Due to a clash in diary I feel it appropriate to ask for my entry to be discounted from this competition.
Shame, but I did enjoy your entry
I do not know if it’s just me or if everybody else experiencing issues with your blog. It appears like some of the text on your content are running off the screen. Can someone else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them as well? This could be a problem with my web browser because I’ve had
this happen previously. Thank you
A naive little number but I think you’ll be amused by its affrontery.