Photo: Number 6 (Nigel Stock) in Do Not Forsake Me [Patrick McGoohan is away]
To count down to our special screening of Fall Out, the final episode of ace television show The Prisoner, PHIL KIRBY introduces a new episode every day in the order outlined by director Alex Cox in his book I Am (Not) A Number…
Tonight’s episode is Do Not Forsake Me …
Imagine this scenario.
You are Number Two, the chief of a top secret, black op facility, a sort of internment camp for people who once held positions of a secret nature and have knowledge that is invaluable to an enemy. Your main job is to extract that knowledge and keep it away from the other side.
Your most interesting “citizen” is Number Six. He has consistently refused to give up any information, and he won’t even say why. He’s failed to cooperate, tried to escape several times, and has proved himself capable of outwitting even the most determined Number Two. He is, as several of your predecessors have pointed out, “difficult.”
You have been asked to hunt down a Dr. Seltzman, a brilliant scientist who has invented a “thought transference” machine that can swap the minds of two individuals. You possess one of these machines. The only problem is you don’t have the instruction manual.
Your machine can swap the mind of one man into another but you haven’t figured out how to reverse the process.
The last man to see Seltzman was Number Six.
You bring in a military man, The Colonel, to help you locate Seltzman and bring him back to The Village, explaining the reason the machine is so important.
No.2: From time to time diplomatic swaps take place. Imagine the power we would have if the spies we returned had the mind of our own choosing. We could break the security of any nation.
You don’t explain too much more to the Colonel before escorting him to The Amnesia Room. There another machine wipes out inconvenient memories of The Village from insubordinate citizens, “with hardly any persuasion”. And then you show him the “Seltzman Machine”.
“Let me give you a dummy run,” you say, not letting on that you have had Number Six forcibly dragged from his apartment and fixed up with exactly the same kit you’ve just given the Colonel.
The machine crackles and thrums. Red and blue sparks make the room glow.
The Colonel looks anxious, confused, troubled. Then there’s an almighty crack of Frankensteinian lightening, and… you have succeeded in switching the mind of the Colonel into Number Six, and the mind of Number Six into the Colonel.
Not exactly ethical. But impressive.
Now you have a choice. Your stated mission is to track down Dr. Seltzman and bring him back to the Village so he will give up the secret of the mind transference reversal process. You really need those instructions. Who do you send?
Dr. Seltzman knows and trusts Number Six. But Number Six has proven himself difficult before, and a couple of times at least has foiled an attempted amnesia operation (remember back to The Schizoid Man? Didn’t take him long to break the amnesic barrier and subvert the plans of that Number Two.)
Dr. Seltzman does not know or care about the Colonel. But the Colonel has established himself as a loyal, dependable, dutiful military officer, trusted by “the highest authority” in the Village.
So, your choice as Number Two is; option one, the mind of the Colonel with the body of Number Six? or option two, the mind of Number Six in the body of the Colonel?
I’ll give you a couple of minutes. Obviously we aren’t all trained intelligence officers used to dealing with such taxing questions of National Security.
Okay, time’s up.
My guess is that the vast majority of you went with option one; a figure Dr. Saltzman would instantly recognise and want to help, combined with an unwavering obedience to the Village. Which is the only sane, reasonable, justifiable option. Those of you who went with option two are probably the types of people who don’t know where the cross should go on a ballot paper, and certainly shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the levers of power.
In this episode of The Prisoner, Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling, Number Two opts for the second option.
The stupid option.
And, what a surprise, he comes a cropper in the end. Doesn’t even get to know how to work the machine (so what was the point of the experiment?)
Lots of critics have pointed out other major inconsistencies in this episode – especially Dr. Seltzman’s escape by helicopter, which is really not on! – but not many I have read mention the whopping great crack in the mirror of credulity that is Number Two’s initial choice of mind-transplanted man-hunter.
Yes, yes I am aware why McGoohan couldn’t be around for this episode, but that’s no excuse. Write a better story!
Anyhow, my favourite moment of sheer nonsense is when Number Six finally tracks down the elusive scientist, who is pretending to be a small-town barber in an out of the way Austrian village. He does not recognise Number Six (naturally), will not accept his visitor could be who he claims he is, and resists all attempts to be convinced otherwise.
This person could be an impersonator. He could have learned his lines.
Number Six is disheartened by the difficulty he faces. Not surprising, really.
No.6: I understand. Incognito until I can prove I am that man… But everything I tell you could be countered by you, by saying that I have extracted the information by fair means or foul.
Dr. Saltzman: Yes, zat iz so.
No.6: Herr Professor, would you admit that, as with fingerprints, no two handwritings could be the same?
All the Doctor had to do was say, “Bullshit. I’m a scientist you idiot! This is your evidence… a bit of scribble on the back of a fucking envelope!”
Oh, there’s and a beautiful moment for conspiracy lovers.
Right after Number Two reminds Dr. Saltzman of his “slight responsibility” for “this poor young man, with his mind wrongly housed,” the Doctor gives in, on certain conditions,
Dr. Saltzman: For once, I am dictating.
No.2: Heil?
Operation Paperclip, anyone?