When I read in the letter above that Armley Junk-tion had without permission installed a shelf to the side of their cafe in Armley I was concerned. Didn’t they know shelving is an obstruction? Weren’t they aware that such a piece of furniture, providing a set of narrow surfaces upon which to display donated objects for the purpose of free exchange, could cause injury to pedestrians or disabled persons?
As a neighbour I was shocked. As a pedestrian and a person of parlous eyesight I was worried for my safety. And, as someone who values the right to safe passage along the highway free of obstructions, I was not happy. I decided to investigate.
The first sighting of the clear and present danger to public safety is this.
You can see how the shelves are deviously obscured by a traffic sign, a telegraph pole and a streetlamp.
Here’s a closer view, and I think it’s obvious how a pedestrian or a person with visual or mobility problems would find this a nightmare to negotiate.
Just look. It’s like a shelving invasion! And the worst thing is the unpredictability. You just don’t know what a shelving unit will do next!
How exactly does Armley Junk-tion think a bloke like me could manoeuvre around this? It must jut out a whole nine inches into the street and leaves a mere eight or nine feet of clear highway to play with. I’m not a bloody ballerina you know. Do they have no consideration for others?
Anyhow, I somehow managed to slip by the thing incurring no major injury or mishap. I was feeling intrepid. I got lucky I suppose. You can see the shelf is an accident waiting to happen and I for one am taking no chances and have increased my insurance premium. I suggest we all consider doing likewise as long as the thing stays. My recommendation to the council Environmental Action Team would be to erect a gigantic metal sign in the middle of the path, Danger: Shelving Unit!, with a large red cross through it and a smaller sign beneath saying, Beware: Bric a Brac. Take at your own peril!
I thought I’d wander further along onto Armley Town Street to have a proper look at what an unobstructed highway looks like. In order to walk there you have to cross Mistress Lane. Here the traffic comes fast at you unceasingly from three sides (one blind) and there is no zebra crossing or any pedestrian facilities at all. I can only thank the council for at least keeping this bit of the highway unmolested by the shelving menace. Imagine the chaos if a bookcase appeared on the street outside the old library building! I shudder to think!
And here at last the true delights of a street without obstructions that could confound the unwary pedestrian or disabled person.
This is not an obstruction. I often fancy an ice cream after I play the Lottery.
And, obviously, in order to gamble I need to get cash.
I often get cravings for a gobstopper or two when I’m out shopping.
And fish and chips
And a coffee to wash it down
But if the cravings are still strong I know where to go to satisfy my substitute nicotine addiction.
I’m not entirely sure what these are for.
And I’ll have to have a word with the council about this.
Loose tangerines are a notorious trip hazard and the health and safety implications of a discarded banana do not bear thinking about. Those tomatoes demand urgent attention too I believe and the council ought reluctantly to use their legal powers to close down that box of unregulated coriander.
On my way back home I thought about what our local councilor had said on Twitter: “please, keep it tidy it does get messy”. How right she is. Not only that the mess is spreading. This is the wall right next to Armley Junc-tion (council property I believe)
This around the corner
And this
the filthiest and foulest few square feet in the whole of Armley, outside the One Stop Shop (a council premises.) It cannot be a coincidence that this dreadful mess is within spitting distance of the unsanctioned shelving, can it!
I say we stop this public menace before the whole of Armley turns into an assault course of toxic waste and burned out wheelchairs, where feral guide dogs roam the back alleys salvaging Poundshop pot noodles and stunned pedestrians are threatened by abandoned bookshelves saggy with the weight of a thousand aggressive nic-nacks… it could happen, one shelf at a time!
Deshelf now in the name of civilisation and all that’s best in humanity.
If you think all that’s ridiculous just read the letter from the council again…